So, I am trying to get better with these updates. Gumdo has been placed on hold as I spend the last three months competing in our University's Fed Challenge Team. After this month I will be going back though. On another note, I have joined the competition team and that is how I have been spending my Friday nights as of late. As for Taekwondo, I have moved up a rank since my last writing. I am now an 8th Gup (second yellow) and learning my jumping sidekick. Hehe, this is going to take some practice. The new self defense is interesting. I can actually imagine using it if someone grabbed me.

As for sport, since I want to write about this a little bit. The kicks are a little different and fighting stance is different, but I am enjoying it. I do hope I get to compete before I leave Salisbury. According to Rach, its hard to find people our age competing in the tournaments, but maybe we will get lucky? We actually ended up sparring the other week, and I wish I had taken a photo of my knee. It looked so cool, and various shades of blue, green, black, and purple. I was quite proud of it. (Rach, I think was even more) If you are asking we both went at eachother and our knees collided. I got a lot of the force because I tried to correct the impact by going back. Yeah...way to go me.

Oh and Kip, I met someone that studies Bagua at Z-con. So next time you are on we can talk about it. Well I am off now, as I have some things to finish before I go to bed! Goodnight Everyone!

So what I keep meaning to update tends to be put on the back burner due to real life interruptions. I have completed my first test in Gumdo, and now I have my yellow belt. I am working towards testing again, maybe in October? I am also working on testing for the next rank in Taekwondo, but this probably will not occur until November (earliest?). I also have moved up a rank in Taekwondo since beginning this journal, but my sidekick is very weak. Still needs work, but I figure I have time now that my summer job has ended.

School begins in another week and I am feeling a little worried. One reason is that it is my last year of University, but the other because I have yet to really feel like I am going back. I still feel like I should be hanging out at the beach everyday, and then going to practice with my friends. Oh well, one more year of undergraduate.

I also have been trying to loosen up and relax, but it's very difficult. Any suggestions for some relaxing techniques?

Fortune Cookie #1: You love challenge.

No joke, that was my actual fortune cookie last week. Whom ever invented the fortune cookie I must say is a genius. They are used almost everywhere now. For example, in wedding shows I see guys pay to have a "Will you marry me?" fortune put into a cookie and served to their girlfriends. Yes, and they pay upwards near 3,000 US Dollars for this. Crazy, yes, but it probably does score them some romantic points. 

Also, remember Gumdo kids, do not drop your sword. Ever. This garners at least 20 push ups. Which in retrospec, isn't so bad. The catch, for each new rank you achieve the more push ups you will do for dropping your sword. Its kind of like allowing the American Flag to hit the ground, its just something you don't do! If you have ever heard that before, you never allow the American Flag to hit the ground and if you should be carrying it and fall in battle, someone else must pick it up. Since we have begun this update with Gumdo, let's continue. Still working up to be able to do at least two finger tip push-ups. I will be testing next month for my 9th Geup so I am pretty excited, also I feel more comfortable this time testing. There are one or two things I want to make sure I have down by then, but its mostly hand placement and such. 

Taekwondo update, after passing my test for 10th Geup I am currently learning form two and sidekicks. Jumping front kicks by the way are fun and I recommend them to all. As for the sidekicks, I need to really get the hip turn down. Once I have that down I feel that the kick will just become apart of muscle memory. Its pretty hard though because I have to remember to keep my toes pointed down, and I have learned the consequences of not keeping them pointed down (ouch). Also I learned my new escape this week, and so I think I have all the circullum I am supposed to learn for this next belt. Its a little hectic but I think in time I will have it all. This weekend might train and get some photos up of the gumdo stuff. Its the most beautiful art form ever in my mind, but you have to see it to  believe it. 

-sparrow 

What began as a honest attempt to get into better shape, I believe has now become a journey. I feel like I have to challenge myself to be better than the previous day, but not because says it. No, its more because I want to be better than I was the previous time.

A little backdrop, I grew up with a large family. Therefore, we had just enough to get by always and my parents made sure we never were homeless or without food. They never graduated college, and the best education they had were high school degrees. My father had taken some college courses, but later had to drop out. At sixteen my mother died, and I felt always this sense within me that I couldn't do well at anything. No matter how hard I tried, it just was never enough. So, I didn't care what I did. I honestly just lost hope in ever outdoing my younger, carefree self and became depressed. It wasn't till I met someone that made me challenge my feelings and insecurities that I began to step on the path again.

Now, to present day. I began Taekwondo as a method of exercise. Also, I wanted to help out a friend who felt lonely being the only member of our University's Taekwondo club. I had taken Haidong Gumdo in my freshman year of college but dropped out when I left school for a year. Upon returning to University I mainly focused on working and my studies. Needless to say though I always picked up my mokum (korean wooden sword) and practiced what I remembered from the school's Gumdo program. Eventually time went on, life became busier and I found myself unable to do things I wanted to do. Finally I went with my friend to where she studied, and now its where you can find me most of the week.

I am still a white belt, in both arts, and its rare to find someone taking two forms at such a low level (and in time I may only go with one, and pursue the other one again later). Therefore this is where the journey begins. It begins with this moment. I am now a tenth gup (there are certain ranks in taekwondo which will be explained later in this journal) and I feel okay. I have never tested for any martial art before, and the only thing that comes close is having to do solos in dance classes. Needless to say, I was nervous.

Nervous by the way in that, "Oh don't trip on your graduation gown" and then you do sort of way. Yeah, you know the feeling. Which is really sad because I was given a speech on not being nervous about ten minutes prior to the test. This is where I laugh at myself and look back thinking, "You can do better, and you will." See what people don't know about the underdog, we have the advantage. Yes! It's true. People don't expect you to impress them the next time, they get a mindset about you. At least most people, probably not instructors because they always think you will do better. (The sign of a good teacher is someone that believes in the student when the student can't find that same confidence in themselves) So, keeping this in mind. We always have the chance to wow people later and get better.

So today's moral, though you may be horrific the first time-nobody's perfect. You have to get up and do it again in order to get better. Its hard, but some days you just have to look in the mirror and say to yourself: "I can do anything I put my mind to." Except flying .... but I hear some guy in Texas or New Mexico is working on that.

So that is the first update in this little journal and I hope you continue to read. Get up tomorrow and say to yourself, "I can do (insert thing you wish to succeed in that morning here)" So for example, I will wake up tomorrow and say, "I can do a side kick." Although I might not get it perfect tomorrow night, the confidence will help the improvement of the kick. Also, confidence is hot!

-sparrow